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We Argue. We Touch.


Women: it is okay to gently touch your man.

Men: it is okay to touch your woman without rubbing on her.

It is okay to touch your partner outside of sexual intercourse or foreplay.

I am well aware of the healing touch of a man. The men I attract have such powerful energy that I ‘feel’ them when they are near, whether I mentally know of their presence or not. This energy is soothing and strong and ….woo…had to go get a sip of water. *giggles* Even if this is not the exact case for your lover, we all have energy/vibrations we give off. Now, whether you’re receptive to it is another topic.

Touch is important and healing.


Women: it is okay to caress that sexy, luscious hunk of masculinity. It’s okay to coo and moan as you touch the parts of his body that are non-sexual. It’s okay to trace the veins in his arms and hands. It’s okay to feel the softness (or roughness) of his skin.

Men: it is okay to touch other parts of her body beyond the vagina, lips, and breast. It is okay to just place your hands on her without moving them. It is okay to be gentle with her. It is okay to enjoy the feel of her skin on yours.

Touch is also important during arguments or intense discussions.

Many couples don’t touch each other when they are upset. Trust me, not physically touching only makes it worse. Here are two examples of how Him and I use touch during an argument:


What I do: I’ve read a few things about body language and He is well aware of that. When he folds his arms across his chest (unless it’s freezing outside), then I know he is feeling defensive about something. As long as his arms are folded, he’s not going to truly hear what I’m saying. Touch comes into play here because I touch his arms and, physically yet gently, unfold them. The brain follows and he is once again open, receptive, and present. Typically, if he is being stubborn or adamant about what has him upset, he will go back to folding his arms. So you know what I do? I hold his hand. I might place one hand between my two hands and put it to my face.


What He does: So we’re arguing. I’m sure I have my arms folded and maybe I’m crying. Typically, he will do the above as far as unfolding my arms (and I’m stubborn, so I re-fold them *giggles*) and if he knows I’m really throwing a tantrum and holding my hand won’t soothe me, he’ll place his hand over my heart . When he does that, the energy from his hand soothes me instantly. During this time, he is silent. He stares intensely into my eyes and takes deep, long breaths. Without thinking, I match his breathing.


I feel this form of touch works even in the absence of an argument. Sometimes we both place a hand over the other’s heart chakra and just breathe. Try it. Comment below and tell me what you felt.


Lye N. Ess


Regarding the body language interpretation of arms being folded: If you’re one of the people that said, ‘But Lye, I like folding my arms…it’s just comfortable to me,’ that only means that you’re comfortable being defensive. The mind and body are highly connected. POW!

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